Sunday, July 11, 2010

Why Is This Man Holding The Super Bowl Trophy?

I mentioned that the week prior had an odd feel to it and that was apparently a precursor to the bizarro turns this past week took. To wit:

-My last post described our Gourmet Afternoon in Overland Park and ended with a bit of a of my friends in attendance added some unintentional "flair" to the day. Said friend had bought a form of Xanax for their dog in order to help keep the puppy calm through the Fourth of July fireworks. My friend then thought that the same medication might be helpful to them as well and then surmised that they should be able to take double the dog's dose. As it turned out, that dosage was WAY more than what they should have taken and this was the night prior to our outing. When my friend showed up that day, they were obviously groggy. When said friend referred to the large tree in the backseat of the driver's car, we were duly concerned....there was nothing so much as resembling a tree anywhere near the car. Our friend casually spoke of the medication they tried and we replied to their surprise that they had taken more than they should have. We suggested we take said friend back home but she insisted we carry on and so we did. On the drive over, she regaled us with tales of her days in publishing and her dealings with Jacqueline Susann. We knew these stories were true but this time we were feeling like we were living a passage out of Valley of the Dolls. At the lunch, she nodded off more than once....and one of those times her forkful of food was hanging in mid-air while she lightly snored. When we gently nudged her, she didn't miss a beat...the fork found her mouth and she went on to rave about the meal....go figure. At this point, we had moved from Valley of the Dolls to Weekend at Bernie's. Following lunch, we moved on to the retail portions of the day and she purchased items and handled herself very well. There was a nerve-wracking moment in an art gallery where she kept swinging a crystal vase around to catch the light and we quickly ushered her onward. We wrapped up quickly and got our friend back home. Believe me when I say that I don't minimize the potential dangers of her drug mishap. This experience could have very easily gone the other way and we were very concerned. I would not have written about this at all had we not followed up with our friend and seen that she was fully recovered, had learned a valuable lesson and was telling the tale to everyone. Note to self: Civilized lunches and dog tranquilizers do not mix. I remember the time I decided to try a Valium and ended up falling asleep with my eyes open which my roommate only realized after she'd talked to me for several minutes and realized that I was asleep. I was also reminded of my senior prom...I had a wicked kink in my neck and got muscle relaxers prescribed to me which I then started popping like they were Cherry LifeSavers because you know, I didn't want to look DORKY or anything. I, in my all-white tux, ended up in Sebastian's restaurant dropping my silverware and food and spilling my drink while my date, increasingly mortified, looked danger of looking dorky there. We all have our moments.

-That particular day ended with my return to work and a hulking Hispanic man going nose to nose with me and asking if I could tell he was bipolar. Insisting the only thing that could help him was Patty Duke's biography, I searched in vain for the book but we, of course, had no copies. I managed to placate him with another selection and he eventually left still dejected that I couldn't produce Patty. I really could've used the Miracle Worker that day.

-Medicating pets became a theme last week as I ended up on a trip to the vet with a sick kitty. Any pet owner knows that this alone is exasperating for pet and owner alike. After an expensive visit, we returned home to discover that due to all of the rain this week, that was the day they decided to put sealant on our street and it was blocked off on both ends. We tried one other route that led us to another blocked-off street due to an accident. I decided to try the interstate route only to discover that the exits were blocked off by the police as President Obama had just landed at the airport and would soon be on southbound I-29 heading downtown to speak at a function. Eventually, we managed to get a block from the house and as I started to get out, the skies opened up.....and I wrapped Dylan's carrier up and we walked in the pouring rain to the house. In the end, Dylan's doing much better and our street is still unfinished.

-Keith called at the end of that day to inform me he had just been photographed with the Super Bowl trophy. Gregg Williams is the defensive coordinator with the New Orleans Saints and he is from Excelsior Springs. Every year, Mr. Williams hosts a golf tournament fundraiser for charity in Excelsior and the Elms always hosts some of the events. This year, he brought the Super Bowl trophy. An auction is also part of this event and this year some of the items were Super Bowl related. This event was also not drama-free as two of the most expensive items ended up missing. Justice prevailed, though, and the items were returned before the weekend concluded.

After a Mondo Bizarro week like this, this confounded cook finally got the opportunity to get back to basics and get his sorry behind back in the kitchen. Sometimes, food can be a grounding force and this was one of those moments. We gathered some beautiful green beans and luscious tomatoes from our gardens as well as some farmer's market goods(like some incredible Gorgonzola Garlic bread from Van Till farms) and moved on. Our cooking results will be featured in the next post....


Charlotte's Web of Books said...

LMAO -- just based off of the "she regaled us with tales of her days in publishing and her dealings with Jacqueline Susann" I can guess at who this is & you MUST give her a big hug from me. *sigh* I miss you guys so much.

Confounded Cook said...

We miss you the most, Char!

Kristy said...

LOL @ "civilized dinners and dog tranqulizers do not mix." Ya think? Had no idea you had so much fun at the prom. Must have been your senior prom cause I don't remember you in a white tux although I would have paid money to be at that table at Sebastian's laughing my butt off at you and swearing I would never tell a soul whilst secretly jotting everything down on a bar nap so I wouldn't forget it. As for the hispanic Bi-Polar guy...just too funny and all too familiar. That's my life almost every day. People alternately laughing and crying and talking to their arm pits. Me silently begging "Sybil" to send the REAL person out so I can talk to them instead. The guy who sits on the front steps of my store daily and cleans his fingernails with a pen knife (although he is a good customer and a nice man and I really do like him.) "Axl Ozzy Junior" with his waist length dreds and tobaggon on cleaning up the drive thru bank's landscaping while death metal shrieks at arena proportions from his beat up Pinto that is parked right in front of my office window. Ah, such is life. Honestly, what would we do WITHOUT these stories. Life would be totally boring. It's the SPICE that makes things worth it.

Confounded Cook said...

Lol at Axl Junior, Kristy.....I've seen a few of those around. Spice, indeed.

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