Sunday, May 2, 2010


Saturday night, Keith made a hearty minestrone from our friend Ginger Nelson's recipe. It was a warm, tasty bowl of comfort. If only I could harness that comfort, put it in storage and wield it whenever it was needed. If only we all could...

My friend Emma lost her younger brother Buck to a freak accident recently. It was one of those awful tragedies that offer no answers or closure. My heart just bleeds for Emma and her family. It's times like these when it doesn't seem as if words or gestures or anything will suffice to ease their pain.

We love to receive comfort and strive to offer it when needed. Comfort takes many forms. We offer it with words, spoken and written. We may offer physical gestures from a light hand on the shoulder to a tight bear hug. Emma lives in Brussels and I'm in Kansas City and all myself and many of her friends could do was to offer condolences to her in written form on Facebook. As I wrote my thoughts and feelings to her, that general feeling of inadequacy crept in concerning the choice of those "right" words. I've been the person standing in line at a funeral visitation wondering if I'd find those right words to say when I got to the family. I've also, though, been that grieving family member that simply appreciated every comforting word spoken. In the end of course, there were no "right" words, just genuine feeling and that's all that mattered.

We also offer food.

Food sent to the home or gathering place during a time of grieving is considered a Southern tradition, though I've seen it observed just about everywhere. When my sister Mona died, I remember my Mom railing against all the food being sent over as she didn't understand what the purpose was. I understood that the food was offered as a warm gesture of condolence or sympathy. Many people don't have the words during tragic times so they whip up dishes of love and send them over. It's a lovely tradition no matter where it occurs.

I would love to be able to hug Emma, hell, I'd love to send her a huge stockpot of my Aunt Bonnie's noodles, but I can't. So, I offered my condolences over Facebook as well as on here. I wish I could give you peace and closure, Emma, but the best I have to offer is love and comforting thoughts and prayers from afar..and a little music to help ease your mind. Click on the title of this post for a vintage Beatles song.


Kristy said...

We all need a little help from our friends every once in awhile. All of us here in St. Marys certainly grieve along with Emma on the loss of her brother. And we all wish she was here so that we could "help" in whatever shape or form she requires. But since that can't happen, I think you have so eloquently expressed what many of us are thinking and feeling for Miss Emma. For that, we thank you. We love you Emma and wish for you peace. And thank you Greg, for sharing this bit of comfort with all of us.

Post a Comment